Straightening out the Race!

So one day I was talking to my grandma and she was telling how hard things were for her mother (my great Grandma) who came here from Puerto Rico in the 20's/30's. She was a Black Latina and faced many tribulations. She remembers her mom combing her hair and stating how her children need to marry outside of the race so that they wouldn't go through what she had to gone through. What sparked this for her was her frustration in combing out her daughters hair so her advice was to "straighten out the race".

When I hear this I was so upset, hurt and confused. My great grandma and I had a great relationship and she recently passed last year. So as an adult I was able to build a relationship with her and she was such an advocate for our advancement as people of color.

So instead of judging her my only logical reaction is to think of that time period and try really hard to put myself in her shoes. The world we live in now is a completely different one from then. We at times take this for granted I am sure.

To have to urinate and can only use "colored only" restrooms, or to go to a restaurant and can only eat in certain sections is something most of us can't even imagine nonetheless live through. Not to mention as a mother although it seems offensive now to hear, I can only imagine she just wanted to protect her children and for them to live a less painful and traumatic life as she did once step foot into such a segregated country.

In the end I now see how due to struggling, wanting normalcy, and acceptance unbeknown to many of our family members they were planting seeds of internalized racism and unfortunately created deep rooted stigmas that still have lasting scars in our communities. They didn't mean to hurt us, they wanted to help, they just didn't know the psychological damages that were created.